Opening Ceremony

[Y]
Olympic patience
exercised as I await
the games to begin

[Y]
Hypnotic son et
lumiere at Bird's Nest silence
"Free Tibet!" protests

[J]
Vast Chinese forests
Inspired it. But with fireworks,
I just see Don King.

Jack Handey

[Y]
You are fictitious,
Just created by a dude
whose name's Jack Handey

[J]
Your identity,
Once a mystery, is now
A mere enigma

[J]
Come now, be honest:
Other thoughts spring to mind when
I say, "Jack Handey."

Fabulous Scrabulous

[It's hard to read the message above, so I reprint it here:
"Scrabulous is disabled for US and Canadian users until further notice..."]

The best Facebook app
is under suit by Scrabble.
This is such crapple.

Amy Winehouse Wax Statue

[Y]
Shit, Amy hasn't
looked that fat since months ago
before she did crack

[Y]
Parents' denial
thinking that this waxy dame
is their little girl

[MB]
The wax look is good
perhaps the cure for her is
a paraffin dip

Cover of The New Yorker

[1]
'Bama and his boo
Fist-bumping, rifle-toting
selves to the White House

[2]
We need more fodder
for the fearful ignorant on
the man for change?

Pamplona Parade Horse

[1]
A man and a horse
Make a centaur. A man and
a centaur make me.

[2]
My legs escape me.
I had once four, now just two.
Where may be two more?

High School Graduation Tradition

[Y]
Ooo, me! I see it!
That shiny penny down there
Belongs in my bank

[J]
In just a few months
This won't be the last time her
legs were in the air

[J]
Peer pressure still rules.
Kids are jumping off of cliffs.
And others follow.

[J]
One character here
Is actually made of wax.
Can you guess which one?

[Y]
I graduated!
Wheee! Into the lake I -- CRAP!
Still wearing flipflops.

[J]
Ok, so we all jump
On the count of three. One...Two...
SIKE! Ha ha -- suckahhhhhh!

[Y]
Garbage bag? Not quite.
Plastic graduation gown.
They saw this coming.

[J]
Last in the water
Is valedictorian!
Oh wait, I mean--CRAP!

[Y]
Why is everyone,
I mean EVERYONE, wearing
Khakis in this town?

[J]
They jump in the lake,
caution to the wind. Much like
how they'll treat booze soon.